Senior leaders are recognisable by the way they speak. They are often seen as mature, competent and confident. They dare to ask questions nobody asks, which makes them independent thinkers. To take them as an example to learn from we must ask the right questions in a respectful and non-threatening manner.
How to do it?
Let's take a closer look at these 3 tips based on the many years I spent asking questions as a researcher and strategist:
A lot of the time, it’s because they ask the right questions at the right time. The good news is that most of us can do it even without years of experience in senior positions. Let's look into it closer.
Tip # 1 - Ask open-ended questions:
- "What makes you say it?”
- “I noticed you said …? Could you tell me more about it?”
- “That’s interesting, tell me more …”
Did you notice how non-leading these questions are?
They enable you to get to the bottom of what was said and the why behind it. Which often hides the reasoning behind a statement.
Tip # 2 - Ask for understanding
Summarise what you heard, to avoid any miss interpretations.
Imagine this: you're in a meeting, and something doesn't quite add up. Instead of keeping your confusion to yourself, you boldly step into the spotlight of independent thinking. But here's the twist - you do it in a way that's not just about you; it's for the benefit of everyone present.
Picture this scenario: you gently raise your hand and say, "For the benefit of everyone, could you clarify this point?" Suddenly, you become the voice of reason in the room, the person who cares about ensuring everyone is on the same page.
Tip # 3 - Listen carefully, don't interrupt.
In independent thinking, listening is a superpower. But not just any listening - it's the kind that captivates, the kind that makes others feel heard and valued. In your pursuit to understand, you let the speaker take the spotlight.
It’s interesting how much we can learn simply by listening. We should be applying the 80-20 rule. That means doing 20% of talking and 80% of listening. We learn a lot by being active listeners. Once we do, we discover that others want to speak to us even more as they recognise and appreciate our willingness to be present in the conversation.
Final points
Asking the right questions enables us to feel and come across as confident. We get to be perceived as a good listener people want to interact with. Having the courage to ask questions where nobody does makes us stand out as independent thinker who respectfully questions things.
To recap,
1. Ask to understand
2. Ask open-ended questions
3. Listen carefully
It has helped me over the years and I hope it will do the same for you if you practice these tips. Good luck!
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